Proverbs 31

My baby sister signed me up

for a devotional a few months ago.

I do my best to read each post that comes

my way

but sometimes they are delayed by days.

I read this one as soon as it came in

because I was intrigued by the title.

Women: Friends or Foes?

So I read it.

I swear this lady stepped into my head

and looking into my heart and my past

and wrote this about me!

I was wounded a few years

ago by a few girls that 

I considered friends...

close friends.

I have never been the same.

It affected every relationship I had
both male and female.

I am still struggling to find those

good strong Christian women

that the author of this blog found.

Thankfully I have my 2 beautiful sisters
and an amazing mom.

I don't know what I would do without them!

But I have moved 1500 miles away from them.

But I have yet to make connections,
that my heart desires,

with other women,
since it was shattered almost 4 years ago.

Still waiting and trying, but I realized I have not been praying.

I have not been praying for these women in my life.

Mainly because I am so content and busy with 

my best friend and kids,

but it would be nice to have a kindred spirit

to call when I need a pick me up.

Growing up my mom was my best friend.
I told her everything.
She knew more than most moms know about their
daughters.
It wasn't until about 3 years or more
into my marriage
that my husband became my best friend.

Now God has blessed me with a little girl.
And even though she is only 3,
a few months ago,
I was really worried
that we were going to butt heads
and not have the relationship my mom
and I had.

We seemed to just clash no matter what I did.
She wanted daddy
for everything.
What was I doing wrong??
Why didn't she like me??

We still have our moments,
but she has started just blurting out:
"Mom, I love you".

And all the world seems right.

I know there are tough years ahead but
I will take the "I love yous"
anytime I can get them!
I can only PRAY that
I have the relationship with my
daughter that my mom and I had.

My husband also reminded me during
my heartbreak over my female friends,
that ultimately,
what mattered most,
was what was sitting around our dinner table
every night.
These 6 people.

He's right.
And I think about that often.

Revelation...

I had a revelation today that I am sad to say should NEVER have happened!

It should not have taken a revelation!!

This has been a really financially stressful couple of years.

I have prayed that God would take care of my family, financially - for 3 years!

I have thanked Him for our health and prayed for others when they needed it

(and when I slowed down to do it).

I discovered today that these past few weeks/months I have been 

INSANELY selfish in my prayers!!!

Earlier this week I we had a very profitable and promising lead

on a rental for the house...

I saw $$ and did not slow down to really

think about where this lead was coming from...

My long time pediatrician, 

yes MY pediatrician -

the man that treated me 

and both of my sisters

as children -

and now sees my children...

had a fire in his home.

Thankfully, his family and pets were ok.

But by sheer luck - 

we were contacted by someone working for the insurance

company trying to arrange temporary housing for them.

It was a very quick and potentially profitable "answer to prayer"

But...

Not once did I stop and REALLY pray for this man and his family.

I said the right things - I am thankful no one was hurt.

But I was still so caught up in the 

"how awesome is this for ME"

attitude - I didn't truly 

stop and genuinely pray for him.

That same day - I learned that the husband of my oldest son's teacher 

(did you follow that?)

passed away that day after a long battle with cancer.

I was crushed for her!  But knew it wasn't

my place to say anything to my child or any other parents.

So I haven't said or done anything.

Then today - I decided I would go ahead and get a card for her.

While standing there in the card aisle

I was trying to find one that said just the right thing at just the right price.

Until I realized, this woman just lost her husband and I am sitting

here worried about $3 difference on a CARD!

WHAT WAS I DOING???

Not once had I stopped and really thought about and prayed 

for this woman to feel God's

comfort

love

and

peace!!!

I was so upset with myself!  

I have truly been so wrapped up 

in my "problems" that I have totally 

lost sight of what is going on around me.

I was so ashamed that when I got in my car,

I literally started crying and praying.

First for this woman to be comforted by God

And to feel a peace about her husband's passing

I CANNOT IMAGINE!

Then I prayed and asked for God's forgiveness 

for my absolute selfishness lately!

Friends - 

please take a minute 

and say a prayer for someone else

right this second.  

Someone else who needs your prayers!